This was very nearly one of those 'I am not dead' posts that crop up now and again on our newsfeeds. But instead it seems to have turned into one of those long rambling posts that just ooze from your fingers as you sit down at the keyboard to write. To put things into a clearer context, I have spent that last week enduring, that has to be the best word for it, the attentions of a dental abscess.
Now I have gone under the knife in the past, as I suspect many of you have, and I have had food poisoning severe enough that my wife found me hallucinating wildly in front of the fire at 2am. I thought those two ordeals were bad, but nothing... and I mean NOTHING... compares to the extreme pain that dental abscesses bring.
Since returning last Saturday night from Colchester Hospital with a small, plastic carrier bag full of antibiotics (three types), painkillers and goodness knows what else, I have been unable to do very little, save suffer. At points things were so low that I even begged Lord Nurgle to have pity on me and bring me some respite to my agonies!
He ignored me - probably because I have been hanging around Khorne and Slaanesh so much over the last few years!
Hopefully, this explains my sudden silence and disappearance from this blog, the FB page and the Oldhammer Forum. Don't get me wrong, I was still there, drifting in during my more lucid moments, but I have not been feeling up to writing anything. However, the many Oldhammer blogs and galleries that the community puts up have been a real support and I have found myself inspired by many of the things I have seen and read.
This brings me on to today's subject:, painting and collecting breeds.Something inspired by my late night vigils over the Codeine Phosphate packet and re-runs of Twin Peaks - not a good idea! The dreams! Its is something that seems to vary wildly across the internet, and as I convalesced I found myself pondering about the different types of collectors and miniatures painters that I have come across over the last two years of Oldhammering. So I thought I'd think up a lighthearted countdown of the myriad forms miniature enthusiasts come in. Two questions popped into my mind early on.
What different types could there be?
Which was I?
What different types could there be?
Which was I?
Master Sculptor/Painter
The rarest form in the business. These are the individuals who can do both jobs brilliantly. Not only can they actually sculpt high quality and characterful models and get them produced and on sale, but they can also paint them to astonishingly good standards. Tim Prow is one such colossus in this regards, as a quick look through his miniature collection on Facebook, or across the pages of countless of publications he has contributed to will testify. I am sure you can think of a few others who fit into this particular breed.
Deep Pocketed and/or Very Well Connected Collector
I am sure that you have had dealings with these types before. They are the enthusiasts that seem to have a near bottomless amount of cash (or the spy network) to splurge on lead and are the only ones, theoretically, who could field a squadron of Ass Cannons backed up with a legion of Citadel Sheep. The rest of us can only look on with green faced envy as they snap up Citadel Giants and unreleased chaos beastmen with penises on their heads with wild abandon, no doubt before going home to melt down their surplus leadpile to mend the leaking roof on their local church. In my experience, this type is the one less likely to actually paint anything and I often wonder if they display their collections or just keep them safely tucked away in safety deposit boxes. No doubt, late in the night they make their silent way down the stairs to stroke their 'preciouses' by guttering candle-light!
This entry bears no relation whatsoever to any Steve Casey's worldwide living or dead! Honest! (:
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| Some Old School Citadel from Tim's personal collection. He sculpts brilliantly too! |
I am sure that you have had dealings with these types before. They are the enthusiasts that seem to have a near bottomless amount of cash (or the spy network) to splurge on lead and are the only ones, theoretically, who could field a squadron of Ass Cannons backed up with a legion of Citadel Sheep. The rest of us can only look on with green faced envy as they snap up Citadel Giants and unreleased chaos beastmen with penises on their heads with wild abandon, no doubt before going home to melt down their surplus leadpile to mend the leaking roof on their local church. In my experience, this type is the one less likely to actually paint anything and I often wonder if they display their collections or just keep them safely tucked away in safety deposit boxes. No doubt, late in the night they make their silent way down the stairs to stroke their 'preciouses' by guttering candle-light!
This entry bears no relation whatsoever to any Steve Casey's worldwide living or dead! Honest! (:
Way Out Of Your League Painter
I could write a long, rambling entry at this point that recounts my experiences on-line and in the real world about meeting and ogling the work of this particular type of enthusiast. But I won't. I'll just have to type this...
Nico.
Jaeckel Alone.
I rest my case.
Unscrupulous Hoarder
These are the proper buggers who no doubt infuriate many a fan of old school miniatures. They have the storage space and they are going to use it. It doesn't matter if its a garage, an attic (no doubt with a re-enforced floor) or a 'man cupboard', this enthusiast has it all, but he has no intention of sharing it. The massive collection sits in gloomy solitude waiting for the day when the lot is going on eBay and will no doubt net the vendor a huge profit. After all, everyone knows that those old Warhammer figures are worth loads on-line, you just have to look at the prices some people are charging! They tantalise you with impossible tales about the size of their collections, boast about the nest egg they are sitting on and the innumerable foreign holidays they will go one when they (finally) offload the lead.Then they try and sell the stuff...
Then, and only then, can you watch their dreams crumble as they learn that no-one wants to pay $1000 for the wizard with the machine gun. Even if its boxed!
Oh.My.God!
eBay Trader
These are the proper buggers who no doubt infuriate many a fan of old school miniatures. They have the storage space and they are going to use it. It doesn't matter if its a garage, an attic (no doubt with a re-enforced floor) or a 'man cupboard', this enthusiast has it all, but he has no intention of sharing it. The massive collection sits in gloomy solitude waiting for the day when the lot is going on eBay and will no doubt net the vendor a huge profit. After all, everyone knows that those old Warhammer figures are worth loads on-line, you just have to look at the prices some people are charging! They tantalise you with impossible tales about the size of their collections, boast about the nest egg they are sitting on and the innumerable foreign holidays they will go one when they (finally) offload the lead.Then they try and sell the stuff...
Then, and only then, can you watch their dreams crumble as they learn that no-one wants to pay $1000 for the wizard with the machine gun. Even if its boxed!
Oh.My.God!
eBay Trader
These guys know their stuff. Sure, they want to make a profit but largely, they charge a fair BIN price for those of us who don't have the time or inclination to ride the vague rapids of eBay or engage in the offer and counter offer of trading on the forums. To be fair, I have got some good deals from places like the Troll Trader over the years. Six Bob Olley Nurgle beastmen for £6 and five chaos centaurs for £15 are two such deals that I can remember.
We need more traders like these online.
The 'I Was There, Man!' Men/Women
This is a very small, select group of enthusiasts who were actually part of the Citadel/fantasy scene of the 1980s. They are mines of information and can delight you with amusing tales about locking John Blanche in the GW toilet in the days when the light switch was on the outside (for some reason?). They can also drop a nonchalant bombshell or three. "Unreleased guitar playing space marines you say? We use a box of them as a door stop!"
Collector/Painter
In my view, these best reflect the 'common man' (if you like) in the world of Oldhammer/Miniature collecting. They buy a little, paint a little, spend hours upon hours working (actually cruising eBay) or on the toilet (actually cruising eBay) or finding that something special for the wife online (actually cruising eBay). They collect their lead in order to, one far off day, actually paint the stuff for display or for actual gaming. Quite a few of this erudite tribe of enthusiasts maintain blogs, they crave the excitement of photographing their latest masterpiece for their followers, using the kitchen as a makeshift photographic studio as they deftly dodge the spousal insults that are inevitably flung in their direction. This nimbleness primes the Collector/Painter with the skills to get to the front door first to ensure that postman and wife 'never the two do meet'. They can also wax lyrical with utter conviction about how cheap they just bought the Lichemaster on-line as they frantically hide the true cost of all those impulse buys they made last week.
I am in no way talking about myself here. Okay!
Sniper
This is a very small, select group of enthusiasts who were actually part of the Citadel/fantasy scene of the 1980s. They are mines of information and can delight you with amusing tales about locking John Blanche in the GW toilet in the days when the light switch was on the outside (for some reason?). They can also drop a nonchalant bombshell or three. "Unreleased guitar playing space marines you say? We use a box of them as a door stop!"
Collector/Painter
In my view, these best reflect the 'common man' (if you like) in the world of Oldhammer/Miniature collecting. They buy a little, paint a little, spend hours upon hours working (actually cruising eBay) or on the toilet (actually cruising eBay) or finding that something special for the wife online (actually cruising eBay). They collect their lead in order to, one far off day, actually paint the stuff for display or for actual gaming. Quite a few of this erudite tribe of enthusiasts maintain blogs, they crave the excitement of photographing their latest masterpiece for their followers, using the kitchen as a makeshift photographic studio as they deftly dodge the spousal insults that are inevitably flung in their direction. This nimbleness primes the Collector/Painter with the skills to get to the front door first to ensure that postman and wife 'never the two do meet'. They can also wax lyrical with utter conviction about how cheap they just bought the Lichemaster on-line as they frantically hide the true cost of all those impulse buys they made last week.
I am in no way talking about myself here. Okay!
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| Some of my collection. These may or may not have been photographed in the kitchen as my wife mocked my 'little men'. |
Its ten seconds to go and you are about to snap up the Nuln Spearman for 50p because someone has mislisted it as a He-Man toy, when in the final second they outbid you by 10p and the figure you have been checking up on for nine days is now not going to be yours. Again! Did this already happen to you last week? Yes, no doubt at all you have been victim to one of these vicious vandals of the on-line auction. Perhaps you are one of their number? But it seems to me that no one, no matter how many sausage rolls they can eat from a Gregg's with security guards at 1am, will admit to doing so when face to face with another enthusiast. "Oh, that Zygor Snake Arms with the distinctive base that was mislisted as an absinthe spoon? Don't know what you are talking about mate!"
Oldhammer General
In my opinion, Erny , Thantsants and Goblin Lee vie for dominance with this one, with Golgfag leering manically over their shoulders. These guys have their collections based, painted and when you see the massed ranks you've fainted - to invent one of those crap rhyming phrases salesmen concoct to shift a few more units of tat. Only, the Oldhammer General doesn't push tat around the fine tables at the Wargames Foundry, oh no, they finger slide whole painted units of slann, old school skeletons (who may, or may not be lead by Heinrich Kemlar) and mounted Perry chaos warriors across the table. They can field forces for nearly ever entry in Warhammer Armies and still have enough on the shelf to play the Valley of Death.
In my opinion, Erny , Thantsants and Goblin Lee vie for dominance with this one, with Golgfag leering manically over their shoulders. These guys have their collections based, painted and when you see the massed ranks you've fainted - to invent one of those crap rhyming phrases salesmen concoct to shift a few more units of tat. Only, the Oldhammer General doesn't push tat around the fine tables at the Wargames Foundry, oh no, they finger slide whole painted units of slann, old school skeletons (who may, or may not be lead by Heinrich Kemlar) and mounted Perry chaos warriors across the table. They can field forces for nearly ever entry in Warhammer Armies and still have enough on the shelf to play the Valley of Death.
Greedy Retailer
They have something a little special but they charge far, far too much. I very much doubt that their ridiculous prices ever pay off and that they are simply holding on to stock in the hope, that one day, some plonker is going to drop a three digit figure on something like this. Sadly, its behaviour like this that only encourages type 4 in our list which subsequently sees our search queries polluted with endless BINs of plastic 4th edition halbardiers for £15! From time to time I wonder if we should start a subversive, secret focus group that actively sends disparaging messages to these vendors in an effort to stem the tide of outrageously priced stock!
They have something a little special but they charge far, far too much. I very much doubt that their ridiculous prices ever pay off and that they are simply holding on to stock in the hope, that one day, some plonker is going to drop a three digit figure on something like this. Sadly, its behaviour like this that only encourages type 4 in our list which subsequently sees our search queries polluted with endless BINs of plastic 4th edition halbardiers for £15! From time to time I wonder if we should start a subversive, secret focus group that actively sends disparaging messages to these vendors in an effort to stem the tide of outrageously priced stock!
The Uninitiated
The poor sod left intimidated and a little confused about all this Oldhammer Stuff despite loving the old school vibe of what he or she (okay, unlikely but not impossible) sees bandied about the web! He scratches his head and cannot fathom how his peers manage to field the Nightmare Legion when he is confronted with BINs where each trooper is priced at £70 and wishes he never gave his collection of Citadel Miniatures he amassed between 1981 and 1989 to little Timmy down the road in exchange for a Super Nintendo. He's come in from the cold, unhappy with price hikes and being spoken to like a child. He loathes the over use of the words 'awesome' and 'cool' to describe anything remotely worthy and sorely misses the days when the word 'hobby' wasn't affixed to every tool related noun. Despite the setbacks and the confusion, this enthusiast joins a certain forum or Facebook world and a wonderful door opens for him once more. A door he felt was long ago shut forever. At this point, soul pledged, he transforms into one of the other types here like the mutated Chaos Spawn he now is.
The Daddy of the Hammer
Finally, the kings of the castle. These guys don't mess around. Full sized Reaver Titan? How many? Homemade Baneblade made from cereal boxes? Too easy! Building one of those Modelling Workshop articles by Tony Cotterell in the 1980s? No problem! These bad boys know their business, have all the kit and can construct some truly incredible works of genius out of stuff the rest of us just throw out with the rubbish. Super glue never sticks their fingers together and their paint never dried up mid coat - the stuff's just too damn sacred of the modelling prowess! Oh, and generally they have paint stations like this!
So before I retire to my bed safe in the knowledge that I have a huge dental bill to square with the wife and that some of my painkiller/infection inspired ramblings have made their uncomfortable way on to the page without gouging my eyes out; a question!
Which type are you?
Orlygg
The poor sod left intimidated and a little confused about all this Oldhammer Stuff despite loving the old school vibe of what he or she (okay, unlikely but not impossible) sees bandied about the web! He scratches his head and cannot fathom how his peers manage to field the Nightmare Legion when he is confronted with BINs where each trooper is priced at £70 and wishes he never gave his collection of Citadel Miniatures he amassed between 1981 and 1989 to little Timmy down the road in exchange for a Super Nintendo. He's come in from the cold, unhappy with price hikes and being spoken to like a child. He loathes the over use of the words 'awesome' and 'cool' to describe anything remotely worthy and sorely misses the days when the word 'hobby' wasn't affixed to every tool related noun. Despite the setbacks and the confusion, this enthusiast joins a certain forum or Facebook world and a wonderful door opens for him once more. A door he felt was long ago shut forever. At this point, soul pledged, he transforms into one of the other types here like the mutated Chaos Spawn he now is.
The Daddy of the Hammer
Finally, the kings of the castle. These guys don't mess around. Full sized Reaver Titan? How many? Homemade Baneblade made from cereal boxes? Too easy! Building one of those Modelling Workshop articles by Tony Cotterell in the 1980s? No problem! These bad boys know their business, have all the kit and can construct some truly incredible works of genius out of stuff the rest of us just throw out with the rubbish. Super glue never sticks their fingers together and their paint never dried up mid coat - the stuff's just too damn sacred of the modelling prowess! Oh, and generally they have paint stations like this!
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| The monitor was added to provide access to reference material while painting and modelling. Whether this 'material' had a pair of boobs is entirely a matter of debate. |
Which type are you?
Orlygg
"Types", James? I like to think I'm unique :-)
ReplyDeletePerhaps 'The Citadel Collector' needs a category all of his own? It would pretty much be the same type two, only you own a nice yellow Foundry fleece and have a very well respected eBay standing! (: Which was very useful to me yesterday when I managed to get hold of the Talisman Gypsy figure from you. It seems that the Talisman figures are all the rage these days!
DeleteI think...I'm somewhere between 'collector/painter' and 'the uninitiated'. I collect a little, paint a little, all for eventual display and gaming, but I also do not have much actual oldhammer lead - its the vibe I dig.
ReplyDeleteI actually wrote a collecting article for my blog (mdarrow.blogspot.com), but since I already posted today, it won't be published until Monday. Guess I wasn't the only one to have it on my mind...makes good reading.
I had a look through your blog Mattias and enjoyed what I saw there. Its seems you are a Blood Bowl fan, well I'll have something to tickle your fancy up in a few days on this blog related, slightly, to that classic game! Glad you enjoyed the article!
DeleteI'm a jack of all trades and master of none, but I'm happy enough living the retro-dream!
ReplyDeleteSame as Paul, I try to half tick every bow and I fancy being a bit of everything !
DeleteNothing wrong with that is there boys. And from what I know about you two guys there will be big things from both of you this year. I am quite intrigued with you idea of a Foundry One Dayer Paul, and look forward to seeing what you do with it. No more flying ziggaruts though, eh? As for the Man with No Ass, I am looking forwards to seeing that miniature you have plans for producing. Hope things are proceeding well mate!
DeleteAs a matter of fact, they are !
DeleteLooking forwards to an update soon then!
DeleteI'm a Oldhammer Gamer, I buy stuff to use (Paint and play) rather then collect. But the hunt of collecting what i need is also very enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the hunt there Chico. There is something curiously relaxing about searching eBay for old minis. The smug satisfaction when you see a model you paid pittance for selling for much more (and the unfortunate reverse of that situation, that no-one wants to think about) and surprises are oddly relaxing are they not? I like your new term of 'Oldhammer Gamer'.
DeleteCollector/Painter. I would be lucky to get a game in these days :(
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. Living where I do its a good few hours drive to get where the action is. But I suspect that is small fry for some Oldhammers who may have to cross state lines and national boarders to get a game!
DeleteI must admit I did wonder what had happened to you. I was considering sending out Scarloc and his scouts to find out what had become of you! Great post and very entertaining. I am definitely a collector painter/sniper. Got to love those 10 second snipes :-) When we gonna know more of about the theme of the next Oldhammer Weekender? I paint so slowly I need to know soooooon!! I hope it's a Rogue Trader warband based melee; I was flicking through WD 107 the other day and loving the Chaos Renegades list lead by a warlord and his warband from Slaves.
ReplyDeleteYes, a 40k Warband Game is just what I was thinking. Similar enough to last year for returning fans, cheap and affordable to build, any manufacturer can be used (though old school is preferred) and only a small number of models required. Nurgle and Tzeentch this time? Who knows? I will get a post out in the coming days as I had the idea of playing around with the generation system in Slaves to darkness this weekend. I see you are a sniper. I almost fell foul of one of those yesterday with the Talisman Gypsy but thankfully I have my new anti sniping method saved me!
DeleteI would presumedly rank very low on the totem pole as a mere "nostalgic fantasy gamer". I simply like to hunt the toys I couldn't afford or find in the deeply frozen lands where I grew up. To reclaim a bit of my youth and the carefree winter nights spent painting and assembling metal bits. Ebay is expensive of course, but all the models that never made it here from the UK at now at my reach. :)
ReplyDeleteI laughed a lot at the "allusion" regarding the painting station... Glad to have you back Orlygg !
I never assumed that there would be any actual order to the types, nor ranks, which is why I didn't number them. At least the modern age is here to help us all communicate now. Its sad to see the death of institutions like White Dwarf, but the march of the modern age has brought us so many positive things that brings like minded people together you cannot really complain.
DeleteYup, I'm the same as Rob, Collector/Painter, the bane of my better half's attempts to keep the house tidy and well known to local postie. Always on the look out for the chance to get a game in and horribly addicted to ebay Spot on article. Drug inspired or not!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see that i am not the only one addicted to eBay. Mind you, since I found out that there is no cure for Citadel addiction I have limited myself to buying items from three search terms only. The items are rare enough to require a good hunt but not rare enough to have massively high prices.
DeleteI'm happy with 'Warhammer General' label for me.
ReplyDeleteI would say though I do have more of the painter/collector aspect as well. I have always enjoyed collecting, assembling, and painting the armies sometimes more than gaming with them. I usually collect miniatures because I like the sculpting, background, or style of them, and try to organise that collecting in the overall framework of collecting an army.
Except for Goblins, that kind of ended up as a hobby within a hobby, collecting Goblins because I really like them. :)
I think that the term was made for you Goblin lee. I remember when I first became aware of your work and seeing that the stories about this 'crazy guy with hundreds (no joke) of painted goblins' actually existed. I find that as time goes on my collecting has changed towards personal painting projects like the Warhammer Bestiary and RoC stuff.
DeleteThank you, I think you might be right. Even now I have a few Iron Claw Goblins in the post from e-bay! :)
DeleteI agree that after a while collecting and painting can end up being focused on projects you've always meant to do, or finishing off collections and armies.
Hope you are feeling better from the dental abcess. I had the same thing about 10 years ago and it was unpleasant and painful to say the least :(
most definitely fall under the bracket of 'The Uninitiated ' ive got masses of 80s stuff sitting in boxes not knowing what to do with them. as well as still a massive collection i still want to get hehe
ReplyDeleteI am sure there are plenty of people here who would be willing to relieve you of that collection you have that you're unsure what to do with. (:
DeleteAn abscess, you have my sympathies, I would have agreed with you about it being the most painful thing ever too. Except I've had a kidney stone, hydronephrosis is the most painful thing known to man or even woman including childbirth (apparently according to my female A&E doctor).
ReplyDeleteI think you need a separate category to collector/painter. Blogger extraordinaire would do I think.
Hydronephrosis was mentioned to me too, only with the subtitle: The Suicide Disease! Very nasty sounding, though cluster headaches were also commented on by the delightful healthcare professionals that helped me out. Hopefully, these terrible illnesses are not things that we will ever have to go through in the future. Blogger extraordinaire is a could one, but how would you describe such a creature? Flatulent waffler? Incomprehensible rambler? I could go one I suppose! Hope to see you at the Cambridge if the dates work out for me Erny!
ReplyDeleteCan't 'reply' for some reason, blogger is having kittens again, so I'm having to comment anew. No ziggurats this time (though I know really it was the ranks of skellies that really got under your skin! ;) ), strictly pathetic aesthetic all the way. It might involve Gnomes and cabbages by the looks of it...
ReplyDeleteYou won't see many comments this irreverent and out of context.
I have a secret passion for Citadel Gnomes and I feel its probably a confession I should keep to myself but that doesn't stop me from wanting a great big unit of them!
DeleteI'm definately not any of the first six, or the last five. I think that just leaves collector/painter! But I'll add on gamer/converter/terrain builder as well. I enjoy doing all five of these things, but probably gaming and building terrain the most. I'm a believer that great looking terrain makes any game that much more of an awesome spectacle.
ReplyDeleteGet well soon though! I've had bad toothache before, but I imagine a dental abscess is worse!
Ah! The 'third army' as some grogs call it. Certainly an area in which I know very little! Though that is about to change as I am working on my first piece of scenery in many years at the moment.
DeleteI'm definitely uninitiated/ collector-painter/ hoarder (but not because I intend to sell it.) I had been subconsciously planning to play with my kids all these years.
ReplyDeletesigh, I'm most likely "The Uninitiated", I had the some of the stuff and gave it away two decades ago, and now regret it, still This blog is inspiring me, and I've a few old pieces in my modest collection (most of my stuff is current, most but not all :D )
ReplyDeleteI've just got to get round to painting it all, over 300 Miniatures!