Wednesday 1 August 2012

Golden Gobbos, Realm of Chaos and Skeleton Chariots!


Long time no see...

Its time consuming being a father to a newborn isn't it? My wife and I have worked hard to get our new daughter into some sort of routine and it seems, fingers crossed, that we are beginning to get somewhere. The result of all this hard work is that I have a little bit of time to blog, so this post is a jumble of the things that are on my mind at present; namely A Golden Gobbo, The Realm of Chaos and my Skeleton Chariot.

To begin with the Golden Gobbo!
Well, the Golden Gobbo now has a name - Grommel the Goblin aka Metal 'Ed and I have prepared him a suitable background and stats for his use in your games. He should be fairly easy to convert and paint up. Goblin? Check! Weapon swap for a warhammer? Check! Green stuff pot like helmet with three horns? Check! Paint skin yellow? Check!

Perhaps in the future we should have a 'convert a Grommel competition'? Or perhaps, some skilled sculptor out there can sculpt, mould and produce a miniature of Grommel for us! If that sounds like you, get in touch!

All great characters need a bit of background. As is popular in 3rd edition circles, we must start with a little story like WD/GW did back in the day and follow through with a profile and rules etc.


"Ooz dat hidin' in dem booshes?" Gruntskilla, true to the first half of his name, grunted. "Iz it anuffer wun of dem stunties?"

"Nah!" Wheezed Grotbot, poking around in the leafy foliage with his spear.

"Iz it a hooman den?"

"Nah!" Grotbot wheezed again, bending back a particularly supple branch to expose a  wretched bundle cowering in the dirt. He poked at the shape absentmindedly with his spear point.

"A girlee elf den?" Grunstkilla inquired hopefully, shifting his enormous warhammer onto his brutishly muscled shoulder, as elven flesh was a favourite.

"Nah, itz a gobbo!" Grotbot determined, lifting the squirming creature up into the air with his spear tip. It dangled there amusingly.

"Ahh, wee can't 'ave propa meat evrey day na, but it'll do!"

      Gruntskilla turned away from his companion and carefully placed his warhammer on a relatively clean patch of ground before scooping up two alarmingly chunky stones. He began to strike their surfaces together. Bright, dangerous sparks began to lick out across the hastily bundled pile of snapped, dry twigs and fallen branches. It didn't take long to feed a healthy flame and dirty smoke was soon billowing around the orc's campsite.
      Stomping towards a pile of filthy paraphanalia that served as their store area, Gruntskilla began rummaging around until he found what he was looking for; a strangely shaped cooking pot. The vessel was clearly made of bronze, but the metal had aged since its heyday and was now a dirty, sooty black, complete with a verdigris chanced pattern. Three horn legs sprouted crudely from its base, the ivory chipped and stained by misuse and exposure to the elements.
       The old orc poured a murky liquid from a leather bag into the cooking pot, once satisfied enough of the liquid had filled the container, Gruntskilla gave the water a customary stir with a filthy, crooked finger before placing the pot on top of the flames. Within minutes, the murky water was bubbling. Grotbot twisted his spear so that the dangling goblin now hung above the steaming cooking pot. The small creature began to wriggle frantically as the heat of the fire began to blister his skin.

"Dusn't da gobbo look a bit funnee? Somefing wrong wif 'is skin, like!" Grotbot mumbled now that their dinner was partially illuminated by the light of the fire.  "Look, itz yella!"

"Wot? Not green?" Gruntskilla grunted in surprise. "Wot we gonna do wiv 'im den? Can we stillz eet 'im?"

"I'v' got crakrot!" the goblin squealed, "eatin' me will giv the diseese to yooz!"

"Whatz crakrot?" Grotbot asked, peering up at their prospective meal.

"Errr.... a terrybul diseese. Makes ya skin go yella and ya bum 'ole close up!" The Goblin squealed once more, wriggling in a forlorn attempt to remove himself from the spear point.

"Makes ya bum 'ole close up!?" Grotbot exclaimed in shock, winging the goblin around in mid air so that he dangled above the great heap of debris the orcs considered their belongings. "Youz betta eat 'im den, Grunstkilla!"

In that moment, the fungus riddled wood of Grotbot's spear gave way and the goblin, yellow limbs flailing, tumbled at speed into the junk. Pieces of rusty metal, old leather hats and a pair of decayed ogre boots flew up into the air as the goblin disappeared into the refuse. The boots, gigantic in their proportions, spun through the air as if on a mission of their own. With a dangerous plop, the boots vanished into the boiling water, unsettling the cooking pot and sending the steaming water gushing across the rocky floor. Like a angry tide, the water slid towards Gruntskilla and Grotbot, scolding their unprotected feet with a boiling vigour. The two orcs, startled by the sudden pain, started jostling each other. Knives flicked quickly into warty hands, the wicked blades striking suddenly at face, throat and eye. 

Green blood flowed thickly, splashing in a viscous streak across the rim of the cooking pot. There was the sound of a deep guttural groan. A second, whispering mutter. Then silence. 

The refuse shifted. A filthy yellow face peered out from the debris and cast terrified eyes this way and that. They saw no danger, only the two still bodies of their former would be consumers. Grommel emerged from his hiding place with a look of extreme relief. He knew he didn't have much time until the sound of the recent fight attracted more orcs. He russelled around in the junk in the hope of finding something, anything with which to disguise himself with. The old cooking pot caught his eye, though it appeared much smaller than when it had been full of water and boiling beneath him. Odd, he thought. Still, it would make a perfect makeshift orc style helmet to help him remain hidden until dawn. Reaching out a gnarled, yellow hand, Grommel grasped one of the shattered horn legs that had, some moments previously, held the cooking pot upright. Slipping it on to his head, the Goblin scooped up the warhammer that Gruntskilla had no further need of. 

"Hello!" Said an impossibly ancient voice! An impossibly ancient, evil voice!

Grommel shivered as he realised that the cooking pot was now stuck to his head and seemed to be talking to him!

"You're mine now!"

Grommel Metal 'Ed is a cursed goblin. Not only is his skin the wrong colour for a goblin (his contemporaries put this down to many things, though drinking too much goblin cider is the most popular), he happens to have a cursed cooking pot stuck on his head!

Yes, that's right! A cursed cooking pot!

Quite how such a humdrum a vessel became bound with the essence of the daemon Kkk'yss'thakk'fyzz is anyone's guess. This lessor daemon, independent to the four ruinous powers, draws its power from the emotions that precede, and indeed, are caused by ill-oman. A daemon of bad luck if you like.

GROMMEL METAL'ED Level 15 Chaos Goblin Hero

Grommel certainly suffers from ill luck, having to go around battle to battle wearing a cooking pot that looks vaguely like a helmet. However, as a side effect to his unfortunate headware (which cannot be removed, much like chaos armour) Grommel experiences shockingly good luck, entirely down to the influence of his daemon rather than his goblinoid cunning as this (an a large, magical warhammer) have kept him alive on many a battlefield. His extra-ordinary luck has made him a sought out hero to accompany many an orc and goblin horde, though undead necromancers, dark elves, skaven warlord clans and even chaos warbands have enlisted his aid in their squabbles and conquests.

Physique: Grommel is large for a goblin but shares all the gangly cruelty of his race. His bowed legs are usually covered in rusty scraps of armour, leather or animal skins which over his shoulders he wears a rotting and insect riddled bearskin. His skin is a bright yellow (which puzzles many of this fellow goblins) and upon his head he wears a strange helmet that resembles, only slightly, an battered old cooking pot. This cooking pot, if looked at in the right light seems to have a leering, sinister face all of its own!

Alignment: Grommel looks out for himself (well, in truth, the daemon Kkk'yss'thakk'fyzz  looks out for itself, through its unwitting agent) and has earned a pretty penny from mercenary work over the years. Quite where all this money goes (his detractors claim its spent on green body paint) is unknown, so Grommel spends most of his days wandering from war to war offering his services to any Evil or Chaotic aligned armies. The distinct whiff of chaos that abides around him puts off any Neutral or Good armies.

Base Size: 20 x 20 mm

Profile: M4 WS4 BS4 S4 T4 W3 I4 A3 Ld7+2 Int5 CL6+1 WP6+1  Points: 55

Special Rules

1) Grommel is subject to all the special rules as printed in the Warhammer Fantasy Battle 3rd Edition rulebook.

2) Grommel is an especially lucky goblin. To reflect this, every time Grommel takes a wound roll a D6. On the roll of a 1 or a 6 the wound must be taken as normal, on the roll of a 2, 3, or 5 the wound is ignored (the chaotic powers keeping Grommel safe assert their will over the battle) but on a roll of a 4 the wound is reflected back onto the opponent. Nasty!

3) Grommel carries a magical warhammer. This weapon is enchanted with a feather spell and subsequently is very light to handle. This magical effect does not change the impact of the weapon striking its unlucky victim however. The weapon is considered two handed without the -1I modifier.


There are only two weeks to go until the closing date of our first painting competition! I wonder how many of you are like me and haven't even started yet! Arrggggg! There are just so many miniatures in my collection to choose from!

If you haven't entered yet and want to, just email me at


As I was surfing the darkest depths of the web I found some lovely scans that I thought I'd share with you. They are from the release issue of Slaves to Darkness and contain some lovely artwork and suitably chaotic miniature painting for the forces of Khorne and Slaanesh.

A new take on an old favourite. Imagining seeing a quote from Poe in a White Dwarf these days, eh? This is still an incredible painting, even after all these years. I still wonder why GW don't do big oil paintings anymore!

What incredible colour schemes! These miniatures make me itch with excitement to begin my daemonic and chaos armies sooner rather than later. These miniatures are major inspirations for me and indicate where I'd like to taken my retro inspired painting in the future. Nice to see some Rogue Trader renegades too!


Here are some more work in progress shots of the chariot. As you can well imagine, opportunities for painting have been far and few between but I've set up my desk and every spare five minutes I get I slapping on the Citadel Colour. If you recall, we had a little discussion about what to do with the slottabases connected to horses' hooves; do I cut them off or leave them on? I decided to leave them, cover the tangs with sand and paint them as part of the base. I am happy with the result. 

 I am almost finished with the horses. Just the leather to finish on the first model and a few touches with black ink to add and little depth to the bones. I worked quite fast on this models, just handling them gave me the feeling they were sculpted pretty quickly so it seems only fair to slap on the paint as fast as is possible too. 

 Still quite a bit to do on the chariot. I need to use some black ink to help shade the bone running up the spine and around the wheel hub. The leather too needs highlighting and the little bone details on top of the leather also need painting up. I am not quite sure what to do with the horns. I want a contrasting colour to the boney browns- perhaps orange and yellow?

All chariots need a crew and here is one of the contenders. I think this one was entitled Screamer in the original release. I fancied painting some dark, blood like red on the clothing of this skelly as well as the normal black. He needs work on his clothing and needs a shield fixing to his wrist. And a nice green base of course!

Well, that's all folks... I better head back upstairs and get some shut eye. 

I am on night feeds tonight!



  1. Love the backstory for Grommel - reminds me vaguely of the uber-Demon chariot the old Goblin King rides around in from the Machineries of Destruction box sets. Way to go to make the yella' fella a bit tougher on the battlefield!

    I do like the idea of a converting comp to create a likeness of him. Official model would be v. cool too.

    Where did the whole cooking pot thing come from by the way - you or HeadnHallf? Genius either way!

    Have you got the WD with all the crazy chaos thug conversions in - loads of mad chaotic paint schemes in there too. Can't remember the issue number of the top of my head I'm afraid.

    Chariot's coming along nicely too.

    1. Thanks,

      The cooking pot idea came from his strangely shaped helmet. I have always considered old skool orcs to be darkly comic and such an item of headware seems to suit them. I think that the article you are thinking of was in the very same issue that the scans came from! I think it was WD105 or there abouts.

  2. I second the idea of a converting Grommel competition - once the dust from the innaugural Goobos themselves has settled of course...

    1. It would be fun wouldn't it!? Not that I have ever sculpted anything in my life! But it'd be interesting to have a go.

  3. Hey now hold your horses people, who knows whats coming up in the current competition. Well I do obviously.

    1. Ha ha, very mysterious... I guess we will have to wait and see then!

  4. Awesome post! I have another couple days of painting on my mini. Really taking my time. =)

  5. Great post. Chariot is looking sweet, but on a point of order, the undead champion you have there is called hellblade. Screamer was the guy with the hair and spear. First boxed set I ever bought, sniff!

  6. Great to see Grommel coming to life (must hire him for one of my own upcoming fights at some point)!
    Looking forward to seeing the entries for the Golden Gobbo, too. If this update is anything to go by the competition is going to be very characterful rather than a straight test of painting skill.

  7. Wonderful Stuff...I love the way old hammer Greenskins talk...makes me laugh every time .

    I'm still trying to figure out if I have time to complete a figure for this contest....between all my other painting obligations...but I'll be laid up next week after surgery so maybe I can bust through a bunch of stuff and give it a go!


    1. I hope you can enter... I still haven't made up my mind. But now the chariots finished my entry is my next project.