Sunday 10 July 2016

Let me tell you a strange story of collecting Citadel

You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce that something has been amiss with me. My contribution to the wider Oldhammer community has been minimal and updates on this once seminal blog have slowed to an insignificant trickle. The reasons for this are manifold and need not be discussed here in any depth, beyond that the origins for these problems reside in that potent mix of professional and personal challenges. Oh, and the house move from hell dolloped on the top of it all too. 

The brutal truth is thus: I have had no time nor yearning for anything Oldhammer. Nothing at all. In fact, nearly all of my collection was long ago packed into boxes along with my painting kit and put into storage. Continuing to collect was also an impossibility with limited (and in some weeks) no connection to the internet. Not that it bothered me. I had other mountains to climb, and none of them were made of lead. 

Disinterest had gripped me anyway. Looking back, I think this was largely due to mental fatigue. With my creative energies being spent elsewhere, the last thing I wanted to do was excavate out my collection of Citadel and daub them despondently with paint. If you are anything like me, to produce work of a standard that is pleasing takes time and energy. Two things I have not had much of since March. 

Despite the difficulties, life has this funny way of bringing you back, doesn't it? Some call this serendipity - a happy accident. And I can think of no better way of describing what happened to me yesterday as a happy accident. Not in a physical sense! Please don't envisage falling blocks of Regiments of Renown from passing aircraft or some mysterious stranger tapping my on the shoulder and pressing Sandra Prangle into my palm.

I was not injured in anyway.

As part of our attempts to move house, my wife and I have boxed up much of the contents of our house and selected which possessions are no longer viable. I have three huge boxes of Black Library books destined for a local charity shop alone! Junk, or broken items, have until recently been stacked in the back garden alongside the conservatory. My mission this weekend was to dispose of as much of this as I could at the local tip. 

My wife drives one of those four wheel drive gas-guzzlers and the boot space can be extended considerably by removing the backseats. There was just enough space to shove in the contents of our junk pile and for me to still drive the vehicle legally. The short trip to the council recycling centre was uneventful, save for the odd encounter with a tottering Essex girl or two still reeling from Friday night. Parking alongside the household waste section, I set about gathering up our unwanted items and tipping them into the large, metal containers the council use to dispose of our rubbish. 

Sadly, a great number of people deem this too much effort and abandon their waste alongside the containers. Perhaps the metallic steps are too much for their flabby legs? As I was walking to my car something familiar caught my eye. It was a font printed on a piece of aged paper that stirred some recollection in me. The paper stuck slightly out from a dusty looking book face down on a broken chest of drawers, fluttering slightly in the wind. Could it be? I thought. Surely, that isn't a font similar in style to something GW would have used in the 1980s? 

I walked over and stared down at the purple book. Though covered in thick dust, it looked in great shape and clearly had not been exposed to the elements for very long. After all, it had rained in the night and the book had no protection from the weather at all. I brushed the dust off idly, curious to determine what it might be. Bright flower patterns were exposed as my fingers curled around the edges of the spine and I lifted the book into the light. Flipping the volume around I was astonished with what I had found in this place of decay and dust...

Yes, it's a Pop-Up Kama Sutra!



And the piece of yellowed paper with the familiar font on?



Incredibly, it was a near mint flyer/poster for Citadel Miniature's Summer Sale in 1986! 

How this piece of history came to be abandoned inside a spiritual sex manual with optional moving parts is totally beyond me. But it made me smile from ear to ear. After a quick glance at the models displayed, I grew concerned that the paper might become damaged by the weather, so I carefully refolded it and placed it inside. My smile even broader. 

"Like the dirty stuff, eh?" Came a strong, Norfolk voice. I looked up to see one of the refuse-workers, who run the recycling centre, guffawing at me, his eyes leering down at the image on the front cover. "Stuff like that puts lead in ya pencil!" he exclaimed further, his eyes bulging in appreciation of his mastery of comedy. "Feel free to keep it mate," he smiled. Walking off. 

Forget lead in your pencil - I thought - a discovery like this puts lead back into your soul. Where it has always belonged. And always will. 

Orlygg

30 comments:

  1. Like when I found a bunch of plastic Fighting Fantasy ogres in a lay by waste bin just off the M5 toll. Great story!

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  2. Scary thing is I've had and still have properly half the models which are still unpainted but still a good find

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    1. There were a couple of models on this flyer that I haven't really seen before... Then there are the prices!!! (:

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  3. Good find, the book not the flyer ;) Manhammer!

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    1. I thought you would approve of the find. Though, if I think about it perhaps you are in fact responsible? If anyone could combine the Kama Sutra and Citadel it would be Chico-Chops!!

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  4. This is hysterical. I'm imagining it as a pop-up Slaanesh Kama Sutra...

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    1. Perhaps GW could do such a thing as a limited edition?

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  5. That is literally the funniest thing I have heard in ages!!! Thank god he just thinks you're a pervert.... Heaven forbid he found the actual damning evidence of geekdom inside!

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    1. Yes, I was quite fortunate that the book put him off the trail - after all, he could have been a reseller!!

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  6. Hope things go better, and funny story. Makes you wonder just how much has been tossed over the years - or if anything else was there or made it already to the bins...But glad to see you are getting excited, and hope you have more energy soon! I had a major stay in the hospital, and have been working so much to pay it all off without hurting the family budget. I've barely painted anything at all, until just recently. But when you are "right" with your spirit, that old lead will always be there for you. Cheers, from the New World!

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    1. Thanks Kaleb. I hope that I will soon have time to get going again on all the projects I have left in limbo. I am going to focus on painting rather than collecting though - I have an absolute mountain of lovely models who really should see the attentions of paint.

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  7. Awesome story.
    I've picked up a variety of odds and ends in charity shops (including the Lost and the Damned book for £5!), but this is really funny.
    I agree with LegioCustodes, it's probably easier to let him think you are a pervert, than try to explain the relevance of the 'bookmark'.
    Hope everything gets better for you.

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    1. Thank you Mr.Lee. It does make you wonder though, doesn't it? What else is out there waiting for us to uncover? And what strange places may those finds be lurking?

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  8. It makes me wonder what a person was doing to simultaneously have the flyer and that book in front of him at the same time. I do hope your discovery engorges some inspiration!

    Of the right type of course ;)

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    1. Very witty Ashley - though in truth there were several other random pieces of paper inside the book too. Adverts for microwaves and gardening tools among them.

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  9. I had noted your absence! As a very quiet participant of the oldhammer movement myself, I have to say we all understand the fickle winds of creative energy and personal interest that normally gust when real life gets in the way of the flow. I still have yet to unpack my boxes after my recent move and on top I have a brand new baby to think of. Yet reading a great blog or opening realms of chaos, gives hope that my energy and real life will once again converge to allow a return to the hobby fold...

    Hope you get back into your stride and we read of your next hobby success soon!

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    1. Thank you Justin. I think the old adage works here. When we were young we had the time but no money to indulge in our interests. Now we have the money, but life allocates no time. Will there be another Oldhammer surge when all us 30 and 40 somethings reach retirement age?

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  10. "lead in the soul" just wonderful

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    1. But is there a connection with the "lead in your pencil?"

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  11. I'm really enjoying going through my collection and putting together Frostgrave warbands. All the fun of old miniatures but with no of the hassle of painting units.

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    1. I was never a fan of painting units. I much prefer to work on the individual models that tickle my fancy, though I doubt I will ever get around to doing anything other than WFB3.

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  12. always lucky you have been with all those finds... enjoyable reading also

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  13. So what did you do with the book?

    Could've worse...

    An elderly church lady might've been the one who caught you in the act...

    or

    Maybe a middle aged horny divorcee tossing out beer cans...

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    1. I have kept the book. I intend it to become a talking point at parties! (;

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  14. Excellent story. Love the 'lead in ya pencil, lead in your soul' resolution. And the fact that it was marginally less embarrassing to let the fella think you were looking at the Kama Sutra, rather than a wargaming flyer from the 1980s.

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    1. Which would you have admitted to actually 'looking at'? (:

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  15. I'm not sure what I'd rather own up to having in my possession a Wargaming/roleplaying publication or a pre owned manual of erotic techniques.

    Moving house and having all your stuff packed up always puts painting on hold. Having two kids and moving house in the last three years really cramped my style. It'll pass.

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