Sunday, 19 February 2012

A Dark God's Whim

A Dark God's Whim : A Warhammer Third Edition Chaos Warband Battle Report Part 1

Lazily, the putrid, cloying smoke from the guttering black fires rose into the darkness of the cave in lengthy, lubricious tendrils. Gidea, the daemon, squatted inside her saltpetre circle, her long, curled fingernails scratching abstract patterns in the grey dust. She looked up as Slakesin approached warily. Quickly, her child-like face twisted into a look of pure desire that flashed across the silvery surface of her eyes. 
She smiled lewdly. 
"You asked for me?" Slakesin asked.
A fire popped close by sending a shower of pink, glistening sparks up into the blackness. 
It is time," she uttered in her small voice, "the gods demand a meeting of maces, a song of swords and a dance of death. We must march north to meet them once more."
"Who? Doomaxe?"
"Yes and no. His warband still walks the paths of the gods but he, alas, is no more. Killed by his own kind - replaced by Gluttonspoor after Cragfell. The minotaur now leads the band!"
"The clearing! Where else?" As she spoke, Gidea curled her child's body around the curve of the circle while her eyes flicked coyly up at her master. A finger caressed the dust, straying dangerously close to the white, granular powder that trapped her within Slakesin's cave. "Can I leave this ward? Shall I accompany you?"
"No!" Slakesin responded. "You stay here!"
Reluctantly, she withdrew her finger and placed it back between her lips.

I have decided to publish my new battle report here rather than on my Warseer project log as a blog just seems a more natural place for such an undertaking. I shall still publish my painting on Warseer but this blog will become my main focus on the internet. I shall life the first part from Warseer and then continue to add updates to recount the battle in as much detail as I can recall.

Here is Dan with his warband, the Doomaxes. They are lead by a level 10 Minotaur champion called Gluttonspoor. Originally, he was just another member of the warband but over the last few games he has become the prominent character. Dan decided he was tired of his previous champion (do to his extremely poor performance in battle) and that Gluttonspoor was appalled at this brazen contempt for the glory of Khorne killed him and took over the leadership.

Starting from Dan's right we have a unit of five beastmen armed with hand weapons, Ironcron, a level 15 chaos champion with frenzied morning star, a larger unit of ten beastmen armed with a mixture of hand weapons, spears and two handed axes, then its Gluttonspoor himself and finally Mange, the chaos hound.

Here's yours truly with the Throng of Exquisite Pleasure, Slaaneshi warband. From my right we have three thugs with a mixture of hand and double handed weapons. Then comes Throgg the most simple of the Warhammer world's trolls. Slakesin, level 20 champion with magician and temporal instability (voluntary) attributes, a unit of ten beastmen with a mix of hand and two handed weapons, a small unit of skaven led by Scutterscamp a level 10 hero and Jaketh a Chaos Sorcerer.

Two, unnatural shapes, startled by a sudden movement, screeched through the grey dawn as the shambling beasts, armoured warriors and chittering ratmen emerged into the clearing like a spreading bloodstain. The weak light caught a sharpened blade here, a dented shield there and illuminated the painted shields with a sickly wan light. The Throng of Exquisite Pleasure milled out and lazily formed line. Queazy, purple smoke still hung in hazy drifts among the armed creatures though it was fading quickly as the day's heat began to tell. To the north, the battle line of the Doomaxes was gathering. In comparison, their preperations seemed rushed. Manically, the beastmen fought each other as they were shunted by a gigantic minotaur into their proper places. Swords slammed on shield rims as hot, steaming breath filled the air. Somewhere a horn sounded, the battle had begun!"

The starting positions of the Throng. Note- the large pile of Third Edition rule books ready for consultation. 

And the Doomaxes. Slightly outnumbered but much better painted. 

Here were have the forces at the end of the first turn of movement. Movement restrictions mean that some of the larger units can only move 3" so the independent characters tend to advance out into the front of their warbands. We had agreed before hand that the Dark gods needed amusement, hence the battle itself. One of the orders the gods had given was that the champions had to meet face to face so Dan and I ensured that this would occur early on in the game. I tend to win the roll off to begin, due to the small scale of the board we realised that this results in Khorne always getting the first charge in. Nervously, I waited for Gluttonspoor to blaze across the table and smash into Slakesin. Mange can also move fast and Dan decided to send him chomping savagely into my thugs. 

Gluttonspoor had 3 attacks and a high strength. With the charging modifiers in place I was bracing myself for an absolute pounding. Slakesin had four wounds so I knew that I could withstand the first onslaught but a damaging attack this early on the the game could have been a disaster. All Dan had to do was roll 3+ on his dice! Have a quick look at what he achieved! 

Oh dear for Dan! 

I responded in my following magic phase. I attempted to cast Acquiesence on Gluttonspoor (something I have tried and failed to do in previous games) and unbelievably I pulled it off. Failing his magic saving throw saw Gluttonspoor stagger around in an haze of pure delight (anathema to a follower of Khorne) for a couple of turns and die. 

The battle was in its early stages and his champion was dead. Luckily, Ironcron saw the danger and rallied his troops pushing them forwards to meet my beastmen head on. 


  1. Nice to see fresh blood (re)joining the 80's party. Nice couple of warbands but go on fess up, are these warbands randomly rolled up or are you using what you have in your collection!

    Either way good stuff. I'm almost tempted to get the warbands out again.

    1. Intially we used a system in which we selected the hero and two units to create interest rules wise. So Khorne had a level 10 champion and Slaanesh a Level 10 wizard. We also chose a minotaur for Khorne due to the bloodgreed rules and a troll for the wacky rules they had in third. The rest of the troop types come from the random rolling. We have a large collection of 80s metal and use eBay for anything we don't have.

    2. Cool, I got the impression you had just got into collecting old lead. So next request, lets see the old lead!

      I think I will roll up some warbands tonight now!

    3. I have been collecting very seriously sine August last year. I sold off several thousand pounds worth of modern GW stuff and became a slave to eBay. I have just rolled off (and selected models of interest) for Nurgle and Tzeetch warbands. I was basing them up last night actually. I hope to have some decent sized warbands for each of the powers by the summer.

  2. And she is a cruel mistress, I used to collect old lead on ebay 10 years ago because it was dirt cheap and I loved it. Now unless I'm lucky only the last reason remains.

    Good luck with the project, few people I know have done truly random war-bands. Oh and I'm loving the Ansell homage but you'll have to grow a mullet.