Wednesday, 16 December 2015

The Dread of the Dead Leadhead?


I was aimlessly flicking through the channels the other night while the wife served up our dinner and I stumbled across an episode of Coupling - a sitcom from about ten or so years ago. I didn't really pay the programme much mind, initially, beyond the usual 'isn't Sarah Alexander really good looking?' contemplation. 

Then this little scene cropped up. Go on watch it!

"That Steve guy - how well do you know him? Are you close?"

"Close? We're porn buddies."

These words triggered something in my mind. I knew a Steve! And I also knew he was sitting on a collection of Citadel lead of incredible proportions (just like me) whose depths even he (just like me) had probably not yet fathomed. I also went as far as to predict (just like me) that he had told his 'significant other' a widely undervalued price tag on the said collection. 

I know that I have been guilty of this. Picture the scene. I arrive home from work to find a small mountain of parcels on the kitchen workshop. After a few minutes of blissful unwrapping, I am left with a pile of gorgeous lead figures, which may or may not contain models from the McDeath, Lichemaster or Orc's Drift scenario packs. Then wife walks in and I quote once more that enduring chestnut - 'don't worry love, each figure only cost me a couple of quid - honest!'

Does this little scenario bare any relation to your life? 

Return now to the scene in the video, and replace the stack of jazz Jeff refers to with a deep trough of ancient '80s lead. I mean, what WOULD happen to your collection if your were, heaven forbid, snuffed out tomorrow? Where would it go? 

Asking myself these questions, I would hope that my darling wife would hunt down one of my Oldhammer cronies and pass over my collection, so that another enthusiast could get to enjoy them as much as I. Financial reimbursement would be unnecessary. But the thought of my lead pile just being, well, chucked out would be a travesty. 

I once spoke with another Oldhammer gamer who told me a rather poignant tale. Back in the glory days of the late '80s, his mother had a work colleague who had heard about his interest in Warhammer. That colleague had had a son with very similar interests, but sadly he had died some years previously. So unbeknown to the Oldhammer gamer, this kind lady boxed up her deceased son's collection and passed it on to his mother, who in turn passed it to her son. Over the next couple of decades, he would periodically retrieve part of this collection from storage and enjoy the books and mags again, though in his head he always made a mental nod of recognition to that long gone (and unknown) gamer. 

A nice story, with a good sentiment don't you think?

So what do we do with our collections to preserve them for the future? Thinking about this now, I would hope that my family kept the painted part of my collection - as they are part of me I suppose - but sensibly dispose of the rest to some other enthusiast. 

Returning to Coupling as we conclude, do we need miniature-porn buddies? No! Forget that - it is an awful term. We Grognards require something more gentlemanly, surely? Someone to send the family to if the worst should happen, with the remit to enjoy whatever we retain in our collections to the full. 

"That Steve guy - how well do you know him? Are you close?"

"Close? We're Leadfellows."



13 comments:

  1. I was lucky enough to be given a load of old miniatures from a guy I'd never met who died during the late 90's. My Mum looked after him and mentioned that I was into modelling and he passed on his sizeable Mithril / Grenadier /Citadel collection alongside a wonderful hardback copy of LOTR. I've still got the whole force and whilst none of the figures are really to my interest, it's important to me that they're looked after as they're beautifully painted.

    Pretty sure I'd like to split all my stuff up either between friends or have it go to a gamers club so it could actually be used!

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    1. Your gamers' club is a very nice idea, especially if you have a family who don't hold much interest in toy soldiers. And gentleman sounds like he was a fine grognard, passing on his collection like that. Though I expect that many of us would do the same when facing the last roll of the die.

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  2. No offence intended here mate, but if I were you I'd go out of my way to explicitly tell your wife that you want your wargaming stuff passed on (and probably who to). Everything you've written about her makes her sound barely tolerant of your hobby and the mess it makes in your home. As I was reading your post, I imagined a satisfied look on her face as she finally gets rid of all of those stupid little men, turfing the boxes into a skip with a satisfied look on her face.
    I could be completely wrong of course, but that's the impression that I've gotten over the years as a regular reader...

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    1. Couldn't agree more. I've gone so far as to specify who should be responsible for parceling my collection out to the most appropriate individuals for each part. I'd much rather know it was going to be used and appreciated than not and my good lady wife was most happy to take that on board.

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    2. My wife's attitude to all my 'little men' as presented here is probably a little unfair to her, as she has 'allowed' me to have a permanent set up in the conservatory (which gets brilliant light for most of the year) and to build a display cabinet in the sitting room. But I have never really discussed with her what to do with the collection is I suddenly snuffed it. I need to.

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  3. One of my greatest fears is that when I am finally called home to Valhalla my wife will sell my minis and my guns for what I told her I paid for them.

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    1. Surely you would load up your ship with all your GW treasures, let loose it's moorings before immolating the lot?

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  4. I'm sending you a will for signing. Its in the post. I don't fancy you'll be around long once you've signed it though... ;)

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    1. Is it for my Nagash miniature collection?

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  5. I've spoken to my Mrs about this a few months ago. Seeing as she has zero knowledge regarding my collections worth, I decided to make a note of what I paid for each mini. Using the famous Citadel 'Red' Catalogue, I've jotted down the price next to the pictures mini. Further notes regarding the collection are held in there too for reference. Good post Orlygg. Happy Xmas

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    1. A sensible idea if ever there was one. I can see that many other grognards are far more organised than me. happy Christmas to you too, Jeg.

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  6. "Porn Buddy" - the guy who gets rid of your porn when you die so your spouse doesn't have to find it, right?

    Frankly, I have no idea what would happen to my miniature collection if I died unexpectedly. Most of it's too idiosyncratic to sell on eBay, and I don't know anyone IRL who would want and have space for it. If I snuff it, there will be much more pressing issues for my fam than what to do about my hobby, and I'll be dead so I won't care either.

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